You were all that I ever wanted.

Does hiding the truth is like a lie?

does it means that hiding my feelings could mean that I am hiding from the world?

hiding from the truth? hiding from you?

I was hiding from you, I admit it.  inside I feel I need to keep hiding,

inside I feel I have to scream, let it all out loud, but there are consequences

and my personal consequence is not what worries me anymore.

your happiness I will be disturbing just because I need to move on.

and I'm a fool, an Idiot, I am brainless, because just like you I also fall too fast

and believe in ever and forever. 

Just like you I'm a dreamer, just like you I let my mind wander

in the deepest of the worst and the better of the best. 

just like you I wonder in unknown worlds, like the one you showed me

when I least expected. and you took me deeper in it, making me forget

about the rest, about reality; because with you all my problems went away

the storms of my life came to an end with you. I was living something I only dreamed about

and it took me a while to believe that something so abstract, so intangible could be this real.

Forgive me, since I never told you that You were all  I ever wanted.

You were good to me as well, you healed me from years or disappointment 

you took me away from tornadoes and ferocious lions,
the closest I have feel loved and safe in your arms,

there are so many things I still need to say...

So I'll move forward,

to my own pace,

but you always will have a special place in my heart. 

Kill Me

No Matter how much I try, my mind always goes back to you.

I need someone to shot it down, someone to shoot my brains out,

someone who will gave me peace and help me forget

no I don't need love; if it's not yours.

World leave me to rot in my solitude,

buried alive I want to be, healing my pain from this misery.

From Girl to Girl

You are so Beautiful, the prettiest woman I know, it is true.

the first time I saw you I also fell for you, but please, do not take this wrong, your beauty enchanted me that is all.

you know, once I was almost on your place, besides him, but that wasn't never going to happen because he found someone else, and then he found you. I used to dream about having something close to what you and him had together, the most beautiful couple ever. who will ever imagine that you will break his heart. I have to confess that I predicted that, and also your current present, which at the time was the future. I predicted you will get with someone else, someone that I was with before, someone who you have no idea how much he is worth.

someone I love, someone I admire, someone who without knowing it still traces a simile across my face, someone who even if he gets to know it will like it, but will not care because now he has you. So he will try to keep me away fearing that I may do something to harm the two of you.

what a silly fear. I will not. yet the idea has cross my mind a couple of times, but it is not worthed my time to destroy something that will make him so happy.

Something that will amused him so much; because I hope you show him a new world.

Do you see how much I still care after more than 6 months? because I still love him as the very first day he kissed me. as the very first time I discover he was nothing like what I have seen before. do you see how much he meant for me?

and now our relation is breve, we don't talk much, we don't hang out, and I bet if you check his cell phone he may not even have my number. I know he hided me, he even tried to make me dissapear twice. but I beg him to please let me stay around.

something that you need to know is that he belongs to the world of feelings and thoughts. and once you enter that world you will know how special he is.

I fear you destroy his heart. I fear that you hurt him. I fear that you hurt him so much he will never love again, or at least he will not love again in a long long time. I fear you betray him, I fear you do to him what you did to ...

...

but you are so beautiful... and sweet, sensuality is written all over you. I could never compete with that. ever. he could consider forgiveness if you ever do him wrong; because his heart is so big, and so full of life and love.

how I wish he will love me again... but that is not going to happen. I know.

so treat him right,be good to him, be better than I was, and he will give you a totally different world.

I still loving you

How much do I know you?

I know you enough, if only you knew me well.

If you knew how much I still love you.

how much I care about you

and how much I miss you.

I miss Us.

there are big changes coming in your life

I can sense it.

it is just like I predicted you and her.

again it is my time to keep back and watch

a beautiful play of happiness entertaining the audience

and making me cry.

What I found is not good enough

I see the imperfections too imperfect.

they are not like yours.

your imperfections are perfect to me

S.P.Wolf

Sept 12, 2010.

The Battle

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Some are the kids whom were always chosen at the end... I was not even chose, so I always end it up doing things on my oun. Since very early in life, I needed to show the world I was capable of surviving hostility with no help. I though I was ready; Until a new battle was presented to me, I realized I was not prepared, I don't have the weapons to fight against the battle of love.

I need a Friend

Saturday, October 3, 2009

I Need a Friend

Living in a Planet of my oun, where I'm the only form of life and my satelite can't talk. {I feel SO Lifeless}

For you my heart, for you my love, for you my sweet death.
dancing in the dark I can see you visiting my grave
some day I should return, but for now I must dissapear...
how can I dissapear from you? when be near you is my fatal desire?
I tryed, and I have not succeed...

I confessed to you in a simple way
but again, as many nigths before I received not answer
why can't you see, that writting is the only way I can put out my words?
because saying that with a loud voice I might not be able to.

I am a coward

so, when I said, you are the one I can turn to.
I mean it, I expect an answer, I want your support
as little as it can be; because the conection we have is like no other
good, bad, you name it.

SILENCE is the only thing I hear from you
how frustrating it is for me.
It kills me to know that you have deny me the sound of your voice

I am not asking for you love
I am not asking for your heart
I am not asking for your blood
and I am not asking for your life

I am asking for peace
I am asking for happiness
I am asking for your friendship

When in Sorrow

Every living thing must go through pain in order to heal, no matter how long it takes
I should stop lamenting about my lost,
since with every defeat there is always something gain
the trophy of wisdom, the treasure of the past
that will be perserved in my heart for future reference;
and today you are my companion;
instead of consoling me, you laugh and seem full of joy
for the tears in my heart.
I want to deny it.
I want to cut your roots and leave you behind
so you can die, and then I will be the one pointing and laughing...
I am talking about the pain I feel inside, the pain once you felt
when love said no.

Soon I will find again happiness, leaving you in the past
a sad memory, and you will beg to come back to me
I will feed you, I will take care of you, I will stay with you
and you know it, and yet you fear my departure...
so soon, you'll say.
I will be back, and you know it.
then I'll wait for you.
that is the old promise we make to each other
every time I heal, every time I go.

could not resist

I entered the room, the lights were off and only I could manage to walk around touching w/ my hands, I felt it in front of me, I placed my hands to touch, and I wasn't expecting the stikiness, I liked it so I ran my finger on it, I could not resist the smell, and I licked the mousse of my finger. the taste was so rich, I never imagined it would be so good, so I open my mounth and put it inside, I moan, I swallowed, and bite hard into it! the lights turn on! and my friend saw me doing it, but it wasn't my fault. I really wanted to... and I wasn't counting for him to discover me, my friend looked at me w/ dissaproval, but I offered him a pice of that delicious chocolate cake to him, and he smiled. =)!

Hesitant & Insecure

Hesitant & Insecure
Dec. 23,09


Tell me you are not letting me go just yet,

tell me that you are not tired of every romantic thing I say,

let me know that every caress I give you its ok

because the past is hunting me

and my fears transform into tears.

Tell me you are not going to be the same

because I need you, and I have being waiting for so long...

and because I'm been hurt, and need back my faith

I will love you to death if I could

and the end of the world will not matter, since my love will survive,

but my heart in pieces wants someone to put it back together.

Someone that demosntrates me love and lets me know that I can trusth again,

someone that will be my bridge over the turbulent water

someone that will heal the wounds caused by ferocious lions.

I hesitate on opening my heart so don't just tell me you are going to be there, act

Grudge

Saturday, March 13, 2010

I remember when everything was all right
before this started again, and my heart sank in pain
my grudge is chasing, hunting, killing, tearing apart
help me get rid of it.

my grudge is small, but powerful
my grudge loves me more than you do
my grudge promises me that will never leave me alone
and that when you are gone, he will be there for me, reminding me
of the pain I should feel, because that is his demand
I have tried to like it
I have tried to live with it
I have tried to get rid of it
but it always comes back as a bumerang
he has not tell me his name yet, but I know it has one.

I call and call trying to reach for help!
my days are running slow without you and hours transform
into ages, Im loosing my mind and when there is not answer
Im lost, I cry when it rains because my tears mix with water and fools the world.
and yet, I have hope, I have hope that my grudge will set me free
that you finally understand that love its not something you ignore
that you run away from, that you hide, that you deny, that bores you

and I keep on calling, but there is not answer.

The Picture on the Wall

Wed. Nov 11, 2009

Im over, I see the picture once made me faint,
I see the face once made my heart beat fast,
faster, hyperactive beating, that one that made me feel a Jump inside
and made me alert to my surroundings.
the one I was thinking of no stop
the one I learn to distunguish his voice in a room full of noise
the one that kill me with a kiss, and rescued me with another one
the one I wanted for my own; for him my feelings are gone.

so burry me, burry me cause nothing is left, just the memory that I might carry till the end
would you believe me if I lie? no, yes, maybe.
who cares about the answer, if at the end what it counts is how convincing I was.
I see the picture, and my heart beat does not stop, does not change, does not jump
I am not dead, I am not more in a coma
but I don't know where I am.

I see new faces that I like, but my feelings seem to disagree
I see old faces, I see his face.
I see my face, I see people with no face
where to look? if the world is full of shadows
where to hide when no one is seeking you?
I just listen.

I still caring for the picture on the wall, but there is no much I could do
if some day the picture falls.

Much Better

Much Better

Dec 26, 2009



Honestly I feel so much better since you came into my life

it took too long to find you

It took too long for you to find me

maybe it was not that long, but it seems like it

since my hopes in finding love were gone.

scary is to lose you,

but I will let you go if I have to.

I rather not think about it.

I need you as you can't imagine

I love you stonger than I thought I ever could.



Sleep by your side is somenthng I want.

I dream about you every nigth, and every day

because even when I am awake my mind takes me back to you

my heart has finally peace of mind,

so fondle me, and kiss me all you want, I can never get enough

because you are the one I dreamed, you are the one I have been waiting for

let me heal your heart, that like mine was destroyed

let me care for your wounds, throw away your fears, and calm those tears

that disturbed your nights.



SPC