Countless Ways, Countless Times.

   You always let me down gently.
I have forgotten, how many times you have.
So many different ways, to make it obvious, to make me understand thst you don't want to feel again so much pain, and regret, and fear from your part.
I don't fear, I don't care about the pain, seems like I almost want to regret.
But I don't.

I don't fear, because I know I won't let you down.
I don't feel pain, even thought your rejections try to make me  feel  it.
I don't foresee regret, because I know I can love you like no one has.

But you do.
You fear, losing me. Because you want me in your life
You fear causing me pain, because you have caused pain in the past.
You fear regretting the possibility of  "US." Because I might walk away, and leave you alone, in your loneliness, and drown in sadness for not being able to love me.

And I understand your reasons
But my heart keeps on insisting.
Maybe, I am trying to sabotage myself.