Your love is pure

 Reminiscing about that night.
The night I don't  want to forget.
The night I have wanted after I met you.

I felt your heart.
Your passion.
Your desire.
Your intensity.
And your possible love.

I  want it
I want it all.

I want to feel protected in your arms.
I  want to feel your love, in your embrace.
I want to feel wanted with your kiss.

Countless Ways, Countless Times.

   You always let me down gently.
I have forgotten, how many times you have.
So many different ways, to make it obvious, to make me understand thst you don't want to feel again so much pain, and regret, and fear from your part.
I don't fear, I don't care about the pain, seems like I almost want to regret.
But I don't.

I don't fear, because I know I won't let you down.
I don't feel pain, even thought your rejections try to make me  feel  it.
I don't foresee regret, because I know I can love you like no one has.

But you do.
You fear, losing me. Because you want me in your life
You fear causing me pain, because you have caused pain in the past.
You fear regretting the possibility of  "US." Because I might walk away, and leave you alone, in your loneliness, and drown in sadness for not being able to love me.

And I understand your reasons
But my heart keeps on insisting.
Maybe, I am trying to sabotage myself.

Failure of the Huntsman Hunt. Poem.

                      Sep 30 2018

  Thinking of you in the morning,
Thinking of you at night.
I'm inebriated by the thought of you.

It started to take a toll in my sanity.
And when I try to avoid the thought of you ,
There is always something that brings you to my mind.
I cannot escape.
I am prey of your hunt, but when I look back,
There is no huntsman hunting me.

Escaping from you.

     The more I try to escape from your chains
The tighter  they become.
I walk the world thinking about not thinking of you,
And yet there is always something that reminds me.

Pop ups of you, here and there and everywhere,
Messes up with my mind.
I'm not supposed to  remember you here, this is my "safe place" away from the thoughts of you.

But here you are.
In a  abstract form.
Absent and present in the same realm.

disconformity

As I began to  change my mind
As I start to walk towards the light,
I feel the need for company.
As I look back, no one is there
In front, a mistery. 
Yet, I know in my heart I'm not completely alone.

But I think:
 A figure next to me will be nice too.
A tangible creature.
One that celebrates my company as much as I will celebrate theirs. 
Physical touch  is all we'll need,
 to be contempt  for the  hour.

This second soul is here.
Asleep
Wanting to walk by itself,
Looking up to me for care.
He, is not human.
But our interactions are short,
and I still yearn for company.

It's just the disconformity of my human nature.

You Opened the Door and...

You Opened the Door and...

  As I enter in your life
I see the genuinity of your soul,
The inmense amount of  love that you
have reserved in your heart.

I feel valued, and  I feel happy
I feel you can be  part of my life
Just as I am in yours.

If only... I  was deserving Of your love,
 but the ingredients are missing,
The connection is absent, and I just feel restrained
to act in a way where I end up losing you completely, perhaps, that is the beauty of our friendship.

Image credited 

Open Door. Exellent Door Open Door By Le Dahu Throughout 

http://storez.co/open-door/#

Open door | Alexander Gallier | Flickr

... Open door | by Le dahu 

If you ever

   If you ever change your mind

Let me know,  so I can make you mine.

If you ever change your mind, hopefully it's not too late.