My Awful Creature

{This poem also belongs to my 2009 collection, nevertheless I don't have the accurate date of its creation}


...And now the days passed by,
and we aren't able to have a decent conversation anymore
what happend? I don't know...I DO KnowI know
and I do not know at the same time....
my heart is bleeding...
its a pain I can't resist and its pleasure I cannot miss
Im bleeding inside out.

with a knife you take my life and smiling quietly you watched me bleed...
the only thing I can think about is that I miss you so much is ridiculous
and all my imperfections have been collected
and now you throw them in my face
your tounge you use as the sharpest dagger cutting through my veins
cutting through my life cutting though my love...
Yet, you always find the words to say
and made it all right.
but stupidly I fool myself wating for your disgrace
that every time is going farder from my hopes...
my revenge will not take place aas sooner I imagined
and its destroying me.
can you see now the awful creature I am?
wanting to destroy you as much you did once
can you forgive me from what I have become?
can I ever forget, and go back to my state of mind?
I don't want to be this creature
who is condemned to walk in the eternal darknest
and I don't know how I should control it...
dealing with it is such a pain that I cannot describe
I want to take it out of my heart my body my mind.